Raising a human

There are so many questions and thoughts that I contemplate about when it comes to raising a child.

Just recently I read a comment about one thing or another but basically it was a parent bashing comment. Like so many other things in life; when it comes to parenting, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. What childless people don’t realize is that a toddler is a very temperamental creature. Isn’t it general knowledge that throwing tantrums is just part of their development? It’s normal, it’s just a passing phase, it’s nothing to stare at or tsk at or roll your eyeballs about. I personally was never one to throw a tantrum (my mother confirmed this thank you hehe). It just didn’t register in my brain that such a thing could be done.

Hence growing up, I too insisted that my kids would never be brats.

At the end of the day, what is a brat? Can you really label a child as a spoilt brat when who’ve only just witnessed two minutes of their entire life? Can you really judge the parent’s ability to raise a level headed human being from that one incident? Have you considered all the possible reasons the child could be throwing a ‘tantrum’. Is she tired? Is he hungry? Over stimulated? Consider the fact that this child has only recently started speaking, saying 4 word sentences. What if her throat hurt due to infection and all she manages to tell her mom is ‘Neck sore’. Would you really blame the child for getting upset or blame the mom for not knowing why the kid is being cranky.

It’s so easy to sit on the outside and make judgments, voicing your expert opinion.

How do you expect the parent to react? If the mother reprimanded, spanked or roughly handled the child, she could be labeled abusive/ using unnecessary force. If the mother simply ignores the child, they say she’s careless or she’s enabling/allowing bad behavior. Even if the mom goes down to the child’s level, speaks in a reassuring voice and explains to the child that tantrum throwing will not resolve the situation, there’s no guarantee that even one word would enter the child’s ears. So lets for once assume that the sleep deprived mom is trying to handle the situation in the way she thinks is best at that very moment, for the sake of her child and the sake of her own sanity.

Even if the kid was 9 years old. Do you as the outsider even know weather that child has a problem that makes him prone to break-downs due to something like over-stimulation. Would you then justify yourself by saying that the child shouldn’t be brought to the mall? Would you then prefer the child be locked up in the house with child minders while the rest of the family enjoys ice-cream outdoors? Or should the entire family stay inside and go out when only absolutely necessary lest they starve from lack of groceries?

People in general are just too selfish, self obsessed and self centered now days. Maybe I’m imagining things. Maybe there are only a handful of self opinionated, self proclaimed experts making their voices heard.

Why then are the rest of the compassionate, understanding people not speaking out, defending or giving a helping hand?


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