For some reason I’ve been thinking about my ‘firsts’ lately. Today its cold and raining so I feel alert and clear minded enough to write. My memory isn’t very good. Often when my friends reminisce I can’t recall what they’re talking about but I’ll try to remember some firsts 🙂 NB: not in chronological order:
- My first best friend: In the first grade I was placed next to a girl I thought was a Snow White look alike. She had beautiful milky white skin and a pitch black bob with a blue Alice Band on her head. My cousin who attended the same school says that it’s because of her that Snow White and I are friends today. She says that I complained that ‘Snow White’ doesn’t want to play with me. Snow White was a sweet girl though and with my cousin’s help (she’s a psychologist now) became my friend. Till today she is one of the sweetest, genuinely soft hearted people I know.
- My first kiss: It was at my former best friend’s house. Snow White and I befriended her in the 3rd grade. She was a popular girl but I didn’t want her to skip rope with us because she was bossy. She ended up crying so I gave in. Somehow we became friends and practically sisters. I was in 7th grade. I didn’t have any feelings for the boy (9th grade) who was interested in me but thought I’d take the opportunity to be naughty. I told him I didn’t know how to french and he said, “it’s like you’re massaging someone else’s tongue with your’s.” So we tried it and apparently I was good at it. I never had confidence issues in that department.
- My first driving lesson was also around this age. My then cousin in-law was trying to teach my cousin (his sister in-law). A bunch of us went with to an empty parking lot and each got a turn behind the wheel. In South Africa you’re only allowed your driver’s licence when you’re 18. I got mine just after I turned 19. I passed on my first test.
- My first night club experience: I was 14 and got in with no problem. I can’t even remember who I went with but I had a great time.
- My first crush: It’s hard to say because I liked different boys for different reason’s on different levels.
- My first never-going-to-happen crush: After the first Lord of the Rings installment I fell in love with Orlando Bloom. My heart really knew what love was when I looked at him… (on a poster)
- My first MC position on stage. I’ve done many school plays including one I did in 9th grade that I’m proud but embarrassed to have played a big role in. In 11th grade we hosted the annual Valentine’s day variety show. My clique- friend and I did the presentations of the various acts. We also did the commentating on the Mr & Miss Valentine modeling contest. I was blood red the whole time but it felt great too.
- My first Move: In 2003 February 14th we moved house. The new neighborhood consisted of adults mostly my parents age and kids mostly my age. At that time I was just discovering myself, it was awesome. I grew up surrounded by my cousins though. They slept over because it was summer break but when they went back home I became very lonely. I didn’t know how to make friends on my own but soon I managed to put myself out there.
- My first raucous house party. For my 18th birthday, a neighbor and I had a joined party at my place. At my house we had an empty separate entrance that was intended to be rented out. It had an open plan kitchen-lounge, bedroom and bathroom. It had a big window in the front that opened up close enough to the ground that when the place got so full, people used it as a door. The bedroom opened up to the yard and due to a green globe for a light, it was called the green room. People used it to chill out and relax. The kitchen table was where the DJ (also a neighbor, who still DJs now) kept his turn table and stuff. The speakers were bigger than me. The lounge is where we danced. We didn’t expect the party to be that big but both of us invited school friends and our mutual neighbor friends. When word spread it got hectic. After that party I was somewhat of a legend. Everyone knew who I was and talked to me as if I knew who they were. I found a bag filled with weed behind the toilet pot and a jacket in the green room. I gave the weed to the guy who came to clean up, I’m sure he was grateful! I kept the jacket. It was winter at the time so it became my everyday jacket. One time my friends and I were hanging out at the park and a girl told me it was her friend’s jacket. I told her that she should come and ask me for it then. She never came.
- My first girl break-up: During that time I managed to become friends with a girl. Before her I only had male friends. For some reason the girls and I didn’t click. I was friends with her younger brother who was at that point almost like a baby brother to me. She came to my house with him and a few other friends and she asked me who I hung out with. She then told me that she too didn’t get along with the chicks and asked if I want to hang out with her. I said sure. She was very girly, I wasn’t. We became somewhat of a couple though. When we’d go out (as in out the house and into the street) she’d done her fur jacket and hoola hoop earrings with lip gloss while I wore my broken jeans, new/stolen (sheep-skin lined) jacket and long-pointy-with-a-bell-on-the-end beanie. It was nice to have a girl friend again after so long. I spent a lot of time at her house. She had 3 brothers and one sister. I became like family. In fact they created a Sims character for me in their Sims family! Naturally when she wasn’t home I’d go hang out anyway. After all, her brother was my friends before she was. I don’t know what happened but I assumed that she didn’t like that I was starting to get close to her older brother too and we hung out places that she couldn’t. (She wasn’t allowed to really go out, when we went ‘out’ it was merely to the corner store or my house) Like I said the neighborhood was filled with kids my age so why would I stay home when I could hang out elsewhere? It wasn’t long till her younger sister came into my room one day, all expressionless. She said, ” ‘my sister’, asked for her CD’s her… her …” I didn’t ask why I just gathered all her things, put it into a box and gave it to her. I never heard from ‘fur-coat’ again. I didn’t miss her but an explanation would have been appreciated. Her younger brother didn’t visit after that again either and I lost interest in hanging out with her older brother because he was full of himself and started flirting with me… no thank you.
- My first love: When I was 18, I became good friends with a neighbor. We just clicked. I don’t know when I realized that I liked him more than a friend but when I did, it was big. He confessed that he had fallen for me a while ago already. Thereafter we were like magnets that couldn’t separate. His mom became suspicious when he started visiting a lot more than usual. He told her about us and she didn’t like it, not only was I older than him but we had different faiths and different traditions/cultures. She used those reasons to warn him that things wouldn’t work between us. She was right but I still think that we were great together. We tried and failed to stay away from each other and then we tried and succeeded. It was hard on me because he was a good friend before he was my boyfriend. I felt a major loss and even though I dated one or two others after him, it took me 3 years to fully get over him.
- My first Surf: Growing up I always loved the sea. When we drove passed Muizenberg’s surfer’s corner I was memorized by the guys riding the waves. It wasn’t something I thought I could do though. We originally lived far from the beach and would only go sea-side camping and beach hopping at year end. When I watched the movie Blue Crush in 2001 my love for surfing blossomed. I felt it in my bones that I was a salt-water girl. I would even dream that I was laying on a board and peddling through the cold water with my hands. When we moved in 2003, our new house was over looking the ocean. The beach was now a 10 minute walk away. We moved during summer and the weather was absolutely amazing, every single day. My cousins were with me for the remainder of the holidays. We had breakfast outside and practically lived in our swimsuits. One day we were on the beach and met a big group of boys. Turns out they were from my new neighborhood, one even lived in my street. We hung out with them day and night during the holidays. Even when school started they’d pick up their surf boards and boogy boards and we’d all walk in a big group to the beach instead of do our homework. It was only the following year though that I came across the Roxy Learn to Surf for girls. My next door neighbor and I registered. It was fantastic. I wrote a whole story on that but by now I have no idea where that file is. (The days before blogging & social media)
- My first forever love: My mom sent me to another neighbor lady to drop something off. Her son who was also a good friend (I had become ‘best friends’ with 2-3 guys during short periods of time. Some friendships lasted longer than others) I Just came from work and wasn’t in the mood for this specific friend that moment. I was actually trying to avoid him because he started annoying me the previous few weeks. So I went over and ran up the stairs to his mom as fast s I could, intending to run out even quicker. He stopped me though and introduced me to his college friend. I gave a quick smile and made an excuse to leave. Days after that I was standing outside my house and he came pass with his car. He stopped and asked if I wanted to come with him to his friend. I don’t know why I got so excited, I acted annoyingly girly. I remember sneezing a lot in our way. They didn’t have tissues and I worried about what a mess I was going to look when we get there. My friend’s younger brother who was on the back said, “I’m sure they have tissues, where we’re going.” The guy we were visiting turned out to be ‘the source’ of where we got our music from. At one point I asked him for his number so that I could send him a list of what I wanted. He sat right next to me and my heart went fluttering. After just a few more encounters and text exchanges, he supplied me with great music such as BEP’s- don’t funk with my heart. That’s the same line I used when I asked him out. Yes I asked him. I texted him saying that I really like him and if he doesn’t feel the same it’s perfectly ok. So he shouldn’t lie. I told him that I wasn’t interested in a fling and that the next relationship I have should be serious. ‘Don’t funk with my heart’, I said and took a deep breathe before pressing send. He texted me back and said that he too was interested in me but thought that I and our mutual friend had something on. He also wanted a serious relationship. It was September 2004, I had just turned 20 and he had just turned 21. The following year at my 21st birthday he proposed and we got married a year after that
- My first car and 3 quarter mile. My husband is a gamer but an even huger petrol head. Around September 2009 I bought my first car. We had spent about 2 years trying to conceive with no luck. I was over my depression and decided to take my life back. There was no point in saving for a baby that may or may never come so I jumped into my first major debt contract and bought a car. I bought it simply because it looked sporty in a cool way. The car I originally almost bought was a yellow Honda Civic. ‘Honda Boys’ however have a reputation here for being spoiled/rich/spikey-haired guys. I didn’t want to fall into that category so I chose the reliable Nissan Brand. I didn’t know at the time how popular the car really is and that it’s actually a Honda rival in the illegal racing scene. It was this car that introduced me to the Nissan Owners Club. An online forum where I’ve met many people and made new friends.
In March 2010 some homies of mine got together with a few NOC guys at our legal Race Track. I made a pact with one one the online guys that I’ll race him. It was a really fun filled night. I wasn’t an experienced racer and was really anticipating in the weeks prior. I sweating bullets when I put the helmet on. There was so much going on around me when I pulled onto the launch line and we were given a chance to spin our wheels so I didn’t know the lights would go green almost immediately after that. My lauch was late but when when I put my foot down on the gas pedal it was exhilarating. I still believe that if I had launched in time I would have won that Honda. He was 0.2 seconds ahead of me.
- My first pregnancy and natural delivery. That was beyond hectic. Pregnancy was nothing like I thought it would be. It was an experience that simply cannot be described and neither can giving birth. Doing that has made me realize what women are really capable of. Its death defying heroism if you ask me.
- This year I celebrate the purchase of my very own house. I will be moving around the end of the year, so watch this space for loads of pics.
Those are the firsts that I can conjure up now, there are others that I’d rather not share *nudge nudge wink wink*. It’s fun to sit still and look back on your life sometimes and realize how far you’ve come, how you’ve changed and how you’ve stayed the same. I am different in many ways but threads of those pieces of me are still here somewhere. I’m happy that I wasn’t too sheltered when I was younger, so that I could experience what I did. I’m grateful that I was reigned in every now and then too so that I was protected from being hurt in ways that would’ve been hard to cure. I’m proud that I have a good head on my shoulders and was able to make good decisions on my own. The world is big but its also small. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything yet there are many things that life can still offer me and I’d take it all in.