Please don’t forget me- this is something I feel most parents of adult children feel, some more than others. It probably gets worse as the parent becomes frail and dependent. I also think that this is what sparked a recent ‘falling out’ I had with my mom after I moved out. Believe me she’s neither frail nor dependent and at the time, I had no idea why she was ‘creating drama’. After my blood cooled down and I retold the event to my husband, I gained perspective and realized that, just maybe this was deeper than the superficial thing we argued about. If I fast forward 25 years from now and think of how different my life would be after my son has grown, well…
An unwritten letter from a mother to her child:
I’m sorry that I sometimes nag and seem to pick fights about things that don’t really matter. I know you’re busy and have better things to do than help me with tuning the TV or calling the cellphone company. I know you have your own life and your own family to spend time with after your busy week at work. I can find excuses or explanations for my bothersome behavior but if I am honest with you and more importantly, painfully admit to myself that the reasons for this is simple; I need you, I miss you.
No matter what hobbies I pursued during the time you lived in this house, you were always my priority. From the minute you were born and even a little before that, my life revolved around you. I spent days and nights feeding, bathing and burping you. I spent hours worrying about you when you were at day-care. I spent months trying to find the perfect school for you. I spent all my energy making sure your every need was satisfied and put in extra effort to make sure you had fun too. I spent nights worrying about your well-being in high school and I spent thousands paying off your college tuition.
I know that all of this isn’t your ‘fault’, I’m certainly not complaining. What I am trying to say is that, even though I regained sleep and free time as you grew older, you were still my reason for living. You were my life.
When you moved out, I had fun finding myself again, but it will never be enough because I know there are better times to be had. The best times are when I’m with you.